There is no equilibrium in my mind lately. I feel like I should have a warning tattoed on the side of my head about its contents. I'm in a constant state of push and pull against myself. To be honest, I'm feeling a little like Gollum* right now.
For example my inner dialogue goes something like this:
"I'm doing a great job. Each day I accomplish at least something. Rome wasn't built in a day."
""Noooooo! We hates the something. We're useless. We don't do anything worthwhile."
A more concrete example: this morning I literally just stood in front of the mirror for a bit, weighing the pros (clean mouth, fresh breath) and cons (lots of gagging) of scraping my tongue. In the end, I scraped. Like every other morning.
Conflict is supposed to be the "thing" that fuels stories. Makes it interesting. But right now, it's really just making me feel like I live on the outskirts of Crazyville.
*How dorky IS this blog anyway? I'm not even *that* person, but already, in its short existence, this page has seen Harry Potter, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Lord of the Rings mentioned. And I've never even seen Star Wars.